The Bachelorette: Ali and Roberto Edition

The Bachelorette is over. Dunzo (in my best Kristin Cavallari or Stoibs Laguna Beach voice). Finito (in my best chic from Blaque voice from that scene in Bring it On. Side note - ever notice how ridonkulous that song is by Blaque? The one with JC from *NSYNC (a side, side note - I used to be OB-SESSED with him. I mean, OBSESSED.) Anyway, he actually says "are you feelin' my Timbs', my baggy jeans, my thug appeal." Really? JC Chasez and Thug Appeal. Hmm.)

Sorry, I'm making no sense.

A couple of quick Bachy Bullet Points:

• I know, I know. I've really been lacking with my BP's this season and it's partly due to the fact that I read the spoilers (kind of accidentally). It just takes the fun out of it. I will be back on track with Bachelor Pad. Please Believe.
• Ali's family seems really nice and down-to-earth. I really have started to like her a lot more over the season. She is a normal chic who doesn't try too hard like most of the chics out there.
• Ali looks nothing like any member of her family.
• It was always pretty obvious that she was going to pick Roberto. I mean he is adorable, and if he is as nice as she claims he is...than best of luck. I'm still skeptical.
• I think it's great that she went against the producers and let Chris go before the big finale. He seems like a nice guy and I'm sure it was a lot easier than it would have been had he been humiliated after walking up those high stairs.
• My friend Stephanie made a comment that Ali's hair is always halfway falling out of a ponytail. It's so true. During her breakup with Chris...it was halfway falling out of a ponytail. Again, I like that...makes her a lot more normal.
• I cried. The rainbow thing made me cry.
• Will Chris be the next Bach? I don't know. I'm sure someone does, I've been too lazy to Google.
• Ali's finale dress was REALLY pretty.
• Roberto sweats A LOT. I would sweat profusely too if I were in 110 degree weather (I just made that up, how do I know how hot it is in Bora Bora?) Anyway, dude is constantly sweating.
• Cute proposal, more natural than most. Much more natural than "Monkey, will you marry me?" Bleh, gross. We all saw how long that lasted.
• After The Final Rose - which is normally my favorite part because of the drama, really kind of sucked. Frank didn't show (not surprising), and Ali and Chris were very cordial - which I was happy about. I want to yell at Ali and Roberto and beg them not to move in together. Is it only a matter of 4 months before Ali is on tv calling Roberto a fake liar? Let's hope not. (To rewind, I can't believe I didn't bullet point about the Jake Vienna situation. That WAS AMAZEBALLS!)

Ok, finallly...this has nothing to do with our beloved Bachelorette Ali, but can we talk about how obsessed I am with some of the new OPI Swiss Collection for Fall 2010 which launched just a few days ago? Oh my gosh...truly need these colors:

Diva of Geneva

Glitzerland

Just a little Rosti at this

Lucerne-tainly look Marvelous (MY FAV!)

Ski Teal we Drop

William Tell Me About OPI (My other FAVE)

Ok, sorry for rambling. Sorry for this whole post actually. It doesn't make much sense, but whatevs. :)

♥

Mandi

Bachelorette Post - This was a good one!

Ok friends. Once again I’ve strayed and did not report on the last two episodes of The Bach. I do, however, have great excuses:

1. During episode 2, I was watching at my parent’s house with my Mom, Dad and Grandma. My Dad started doing jerky things on purpose, just so he could say “Look at me, I’m Craig M.” It was quite hilarious.
2. Last week, well, I was taking a nap and accidentally slept until 9:30 and missed most of the episode.

It seemed like I didn’t miss anything too important last week (The Barenaked Ladies, NAF)…at least nothing that can hold a candle to the amazingness which was last night’s episode.

I did not take notes, but I’m positive that I can issue a pretty accurate recap using the fond memories I absorbed in those two magical hours.

Bulletpoints, and go:
• The outfits picked out at InStyle were cute. I really don’t have anything else to add…it’s a fashion magazine so they should have been cute.

KASEY

• Kasey. Dear, sweet, Kasey. Disclaimer: I didn’t want to say anything mean about him. I’ve tried really hard not to…but I think that I have free reign to say whatever I want. Again, I think that the producers edit a lot of these people into looking cray cray…so I’m not really judging Kasey as a person; I’m simply pointing out some abnormal activity displayed by the edited version of him. I will not make fun of his voice, because that’s a problem he can’t help (but did I just indirectly do it by pointing it out?)
• What the hell was with that song? How did he have time to fall in love with Ali, guard and protect her heart, and write that (not-so) catchy tune within the span of a 45 minute helicopter ride? Dude is a plant. Craig M. was for sure a plant, but Kasey is a plant and he doesn’t even know it.
• When he made the statement that he was being honest about his love and “come on in” to his heart or whatever. Gagfest. Seriously. WTF.
• After Ali doesn’t dump him (which she clearly wanted to do, but the producers wouldn’t let her), Kasey goes and gets a “guard and protect” (hopefully FAKE) tattoo. I’m not even that creeped out, because in my mind…this is all fake. There is no way this poor guy is this crazy. The teasers after the first episode made me think that he was going to try to commit suicide. Instead, he just got a guard and protect tattoo. That’s a plus!

The Lion King

• Before I even start on this subject, I’m going to go ahead and make an extremely bold statement: I LOVE ROBERTO. If he is not the man picked in the end and goes on to become the next Bachelor (or she picks him, they break up, and he returns to the show (a la Jen Schefft)), I promise you all that I will audition to be on the show (if I’m single of course). I will stoop that low for Roberto. He has a sparkle in his eye…seriously, pay attention next episode and you will see it.
• Back to the group date starring Roberto and 7 other dudes. Pretty much boring, but I was quite entranced by Jesse’s beautiful voice during the auditions.
• Roberto won since he sang to Ali (and since she also loves him and probs told the Lion King director to pick him). He and Ali were given the opportunity to perform (air hump) live in that evening’s performance of the Lion King on Broadway.
• Here’s the thing. Let’s say you are a hardcore Broadway fan…or even better. Let’s say your name is, uhm, Martin. You save for like 20 years to have your badass dream vacation to NYC. You take in all of the sites, get an autograph from Sean “Puffy” Combs, eat delicious food, take pics in front of your favorite Gossip Girl locations, watch the Yankees play the Cleveland Indians, and finally, take in as many Broadway shows as you can. You decide to save The Lion King for last since you know it will be the perfect culmination to your New York dream trip. You decide to go over budget and splurge on the most expensive seats for TLK, you just know it will be worth it. You go out shopping, buy a new 3-piece suit and opera binoculars (even though you don’t need them since you’re in the front row. ) You take your seat: awesome. The house goes dark, the curtain goes up, and what happens next? The whining girl that used to work for Facebook and sits and reflects on San Francisco rooftops appears with one of her many suitors. She is flying around on a harness. How pissed off are you, Martin? Seriously, you’re 20 years of savings have just possibly gone down the drain? You would have used your savings to go to the World Cup had you known how your dream trip to NYC would end. Now, if you are me, your NYC dream trip just ended in the 2nd most perfect way possible (hello, half-naked Roberto!) 1st place goes to time-warping back 10 years to see *NSync on TRL in their prime.
• After the show, Ali takes her dudes to dinner and she starts feeling really sick. She doesn’t give out a rose, but does let Kirk walk her to her room and put her to bed, bed, bedddd (Not in a J. Holls kind of way, though.) It was actually pretty cute, and it made me like him. He was not even on my radar before. How sad that I have a Bachelorette radar.

Chris from Nantucket
• He hung with Ali all day while she was sick, that was very nice of him. I kept thinking that I would want to chug Nyquil and sleep all day if I were her.
• I cried. When he told the story about his Mom, I seriously cried.

The Cocktail Party and The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony in Bachelorette History
• I noticed that Ali said she got to take these guys on the “most exciting dates yet.” I was hoping she said “the most dramatic dates yet.” Too bad.
• The weatherman played his guitar and sang. Wow.
• Kasey didn’t get to show his tattoo.
• The wrestler is just f’ing annoying now.
• Frank is starting to be annoying with the “I’m so in love with her; I can’t watch her making out with this guy.” Duh, you signed up for this, brah!
• …to the rose ceremony.
• Uhm…who is that guy with the hair that always gets a rose? He never talks, but is always there.
• Kasey got a rose(because the producers made Ali keep him.) How else will he reveal his (fake) tattoo?
• Those who ended up being booted: Weatherman and JESSE.
• Pause. I’m issuing the Graham rule right now. What’s the Graham rule? Well, I made it up and I think it’s pretty legit. Mom: if you’re reading, please stop here.
• Ok, so…remember a few years ago when Deanna booted Graham right before the overnight date? I wanted to kick her ass. You keep the hot guy THROUGH the overnight date. How hard is that to understand? Ok, so last night Ali sends Jesse packing. Graham Rule. Right now you might be spending the night in a hotel room with Kasey over Jesse. Yes, he will be booted before it gets to that point, but that’s still the situation right now. GRAHAM RULE.

Ok, I’m done. I drank too much iced coffee and my hands are literally shaking. Wait, one more thing? Chris Harrison is basically disappearing from these episodes and I don’t like it. Ok, now I'm really done.

♥

Mandi

My Bitchy Bach Bullet Points...have returned. S6/E1

I haven't posted anything in 2 months. I have been busy for reals, but I won't stray any longer. I was going to post something last week...but I thought no grander entry than that of a Bachelorette post. So let's get it.


Strike One - No cheesy title. Let's not take ourselves too seriously, please. (Seriously, couldn’t stop singing On the Wings of Love to my dogs all night.)


Strike Two – If you’ve read my past Bach blogs…I’m obviously not the biggest fan of Ali (but I will admit, she is growing on me a little after this epi.) The fact that she is wearing Chucks in that photo is also helping.


Strike Three – There is no strike three. The Bachelor will have to do something pretty bad to strike out in my book.

Just a reminder – I do not read spoilers. If I did, I wouldn’t have nearly as much fun reporting the Bach nonsense.

…and it begins

• Good to see Ali is still sitting on rooftops in San Francisco…looking as insightful as ever.
• Things I didn’t really know about Ali: Impressive soccer skills (me=not too jealous. I lasted one week in this soccer class my school tried to make me take in college. Not happening). Very impressive abs (me = jealous. They showed her running…that must be it.)

Time to see what terrible antics the producers made these dudes pull out...
In order of appearance w/some first impressions:

1. Chris H./27/Vancouver - No real first impression. Seems pretty nice. Reminds me of Chris Evans!

2. Jesse/24/Peculiar, MO – He’s cute…she seems to like him.
3. Chris L./32/Cape Cod - He seems really nice.
4. Ty /31/ Nashville - Did he have that accent in the little pre-segment?
5. Frank /31/ Geneva, IL - He seems really funny to me. He will probably annoy some people, but I think he’s funny (so far)
6. Justin/26/Toronto - Sympathy vote with the crutches. She really likes him…he’s a professional wrestler. I didn’t like his Rated R personality in the pre-segment, but he seems more normal as Justin.
7. Jay/29/Rhode Island- How is he only a year older than me? He is much, much more mature than me.
8. Chris N./29/Orlando- Alert: FIrst cheesy tactic – pulling a rose out magically (the standing on the limo was cute to me).
9. Kasey/27/Clovis, CA – Seems like a really nice guy.
10. Kyle/26/Colorado - Nope. He hunts a lot. Not gonna work for me, maybe her…definitely not me. Did you see all of those poor creatures being displayed in his home?
11. Roberto/26/Charleston, SC - She looooves this dude. I can tell by the comments she is making, such as: "I love hugs” and “I’ll just call you cutie.” He does have a cute way about him. He is speaking Spanish with some sweet music in the back ground.
12. Craig M/34/Toronto - "I'm so happy you're not Vienna." Wow. Dude looks like the guy from Devil Wears Prada (or more currently The Mentalist.)

13. John N./27/Kansas – I didn’t write anything about him. I don’t think he made any real first impression on me.
14. Tyler V./VT - I think he is cute and seems nice. He made a comment that he is glad Ali is not flying around on Jake’s airplane. I think he messed up. It’s supposed to be not flying around on the airplane of the student who (or whom…I always messed this up). Jake is instructing.
15. John C./32/Washington – He’s the one that supplied the fake diamond ring. Ali looked mortified and pretty, pretty scared.. I was, too. Cheese ball.
16. Jonathan/30/Houston - The weatherman. This isn’t directly related to him, but I I feel bad that she has to give this many fake smiles. Sheesh.
17. Craig R./27/Philadelphia - I feel so old. I am older than a lawyer.
18. Steve/28/Cleveland – Dude is from Cleveland, so that’s cool. I know a few people that know him, and the consensus is he is a nice guy. Anyway - "Thanks for comin' out" kind of means he's getting sent home…maybe not.
19. Kirk /27/Milwaukee – Kirk thinks Ali deserves a rose…and he is going to make her one. Out of tissue paper. Too bad that dude like 10 guys ago gave her a realish rose. Sorry, bro.
20. Tyler M./25/Austin – Oh, Tyler M. Tyler really enjoyed the fact that Ali was wearing cowboy boots when she got out of the limo on Jake’s show…but she wasn’t wearing boots, and it was super awkward when she reminded us that she was never wearing cowboy boots. Ouch.
21. Hunter/28/San Antonio –Says he planned something humorous to say, but instead confssed that he had to pee. Wow.
22. Derek /28 /Warren, MI – Another gimmick. Derek told Ali he saw her hometown date when she spoke of catching a falling leaf and making a wish on it. So, he brought these huge leaves and through them in the air and she caught three of them, and her hair caught one. Fake laughing commenced.
23. Phil/ 30 /Chicago – I wrote nothing down about Phil when he came in. Oops.
24. Derrick/27/ San Diego – Derrick tells us that his nickname is Shooter and he will explain why later. This should be interesting.
25. Jason/27/Denver – Jason did a backflip off of the limo. That was a good gimmick to round out the 25 dudes.

On to the partayyyy…
• I wish they didn't have to wear suits. Girls in dresses look different. Boys in suits all look the same, just different heights.
• I would be super nervous…these dudes are staring at her like she is a Triple Big Mac with Bacon and they haven’t eaten in weeks.
• Frank grabs Ali for some alone time. He mentions that he quit his job and lived in Paris to write screenplays. Ali says Paris is amazing…but then tells us she has never been. Sure.
• Kirk decides to tell everyone that he made a scrapbook for Ali. Great idea. Wow, wow, wow. After giving it to her, he says “I feel really good, I really think she liked the scrapbook.” Wow.
• We then pan to Hunter, playing a ukulele. A personalized song. It wasn’t too bad, but I still am not a fan.
• Then the moment happens...we learn why Shooter is named Shooter. Fully equaling (if not surpassing) last season’s amazing landing strip comment in inappropriateness, this was not nearly as funny. I was actually embarrassed. Shooter, who seems quite proud of his name, informs us that he is named Shooter because in college, he “shot” prematurely with his you know what. I’m not making this up.
• I still can’t get over how much Craig M. looks like dude from Devil Wears Prada.
• She seems to really like Roberto.
• Craig R. brought the yellow Chuck key chains – cute gift, but stop trying to sell people out for no reason. The person that does that never gets picked in the end. The person they are trying to sell out always makes it really far (e.g.: Vienna, Wes).
• Roberto has just won the first impression rose. Shocking (not).
• The creepy box comes in where the guys have to choose a fellow suitor to be voted out. It’s much easier to conduct this process on the Bachelor…girls can sniff out who they don’t like in 2 seconds flat. Dudes aren’t like this…unless they are jealous or something. They all chose Justin, the pro-wrestler, to be voted off. I really don’t think he seems like such a bad guy (at least not with editing.) Maybe he will prove me wrong since Ali chose for him to stick around.

The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony in Bachelorette History Commences:
Now – I wonder this every single year during the first rose ceremony. Do they have earpieces in when choosing 15? I mean…that’s a lot of names to remember of people you JUST met after a long night of drinking. I know the one Bach (DB Brad maybe?) messed up a few seasons ago and called the name of a girl he didn’t mean to keep…I would think that’d be a more common occurrence.

The 15 Chosen to stay (don’t forget that 2 others were already picked):
• Jesse - Not surprised.
• Ty - Not too surprised.
• Craig R. - Not surprised due to his gift.
• Tyler B. - Not surprised.
• Frank - Not surprised.
• Steve – Pretty surprised. They didn't show him at all...but, yay Cleveland!
• Chris L. - Not surprised
• Kirk - Not surprised...he made a scrapbook. She would look like a total B if she booted him after that.
• John C. - Surprised.
• Chris N. - Surprised.
• Chris H. - Not surprised
• Hunter - Surprised. He seems like kind of an a-hole.
• Craig M. - Not surprised. They probably made her keep him.
• Jonathon - Not surprised. Too much of a character to kick off.
• Kasey - Not surprised.

I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t keep whoever was booted. 17 dudes Is a lot to keep around. I would be terrible at this show.

My front-runners at this point:
Roberto
Justin
Jesse

...but I kind of think that one of them, maybe Justin or Jesse is the one that has a girlfriend at home. Again, I don't like to read Bach spoilers, so I don't know for sure.
We will see as we continue on this amazing journey.

Missed you lots!

♥

Mandi