Pilots are apparently afraid of heights.

This is going to be short because I have been in bed all day (sore throat, achey, bleh) which affects my ability to think straight about issues as complex as The Bach.

Starting with Ashley Tisdale (Vienna)'s 1-on-1 date:

• Producers, please stop making these girls spend hours on their hair and then put them on the back of that bike forcing them to have helmet hair. Let's be honest, they ride about 15 feet down the road and hop into a limo or SUV which will ultimately take them to wherever they are going.


• A. Tisdale declares that she is in love with Jake before their date even begins. Right.


• The date starts out as a fun helicopter ride, but takes a bad turn. The copter lands near a super-high bridge which overlooks a stream full of rocks. Tisdale learns she will be bungee jumping from this bridge. F YOU, later. Seriously, no way.


• Jake soon admits "I'm terrified of heights." You're a pilot. He wasn't lying, though. I thought he was going to have a heart attack or start crying before they jumped (both of which I would have done.)


• ...but the jump happens, and is topped off with a Spiderman-esque upside down kiss. Jake mentioned that he'd never had a first kiss like this before. I'd surely hope not.


• After the date, Tisdale declares that she's on Cloud Jake. Lame. Even lamer: "Jake's my Prince Charming. He's it. He's the real thing. " LAMEST: "This has been the best time of my life so far. The best day of my life will be when I marry Jake."


• These chics really hate Vienna. They aren't showing why she is so deserving of the hatred, though.


• Ali is really starting to bug me with her know-it-all, but I'm so sweet, 'tude. She also felt betrayed that Jake was going on another solo date with Vienna. Guess she thought the show was over.

Michelle will now get her own set of bullet points:

• "I see myself as very attractive." - Michelle (We see you as psycho. Hopefully, the producers are just making you look that way).


• "Our first kiss will be different. Soft, passionate, crazy, rippin' the clothes off." - Michelle


• Did you catch the coconuts joke? About them being on her waiting for Jake? WTF.


• "I'm not over dramatic or emotional. I really, really want a husband." Yep, we got that...and you're only 25.


• After forcing herself onto Jake, she is upset that he didn't kiss her enough. Eventually she leaves before the rose ceremony and is quite upset because "everybody felt, certain people felt I was the girl." Sure they did.


• With Michelle's departure...there goes the entertainment...but, I'll still watch.

The rest of the comedy date:

• Stupid and boring.
• Girls being catty.
• More of Ali being a sweet know-it-all.
• Tenley is really pretty.

Ella's date:

• Not much to say outside of the fact that she wants she and Jake to be the next Trista and Ryan.
• Don't think I need to even comment any further on this. Or anything else for that matter.
  

♥

Mandi

Can we talk about The Bachelor for a second?

Alright, I'll admit it...I love The Bach & The Bachelorette.

I've been a faithful watcher almost every season (I skipped Bob and Byron...most of Charlie, too), even though I understand it's fuh-ake. My friends and I at work even had a Bachelor Fantasy Draft during captain DB Brad Womack's Season. It was like fantasy football, only awesome. Nobody won since Brad decided that neither Deanna or Jenni were good enough for him. That's fine.

So, skip ahead to this wonderful season...I want to talk about it's amazingness for a minute. I'm gonna have to break out the bullet points fo real.

• This season is appropriately titled "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love." Cheese CHEESE CHEESE. The Bachelor, Jake, is a pilot...how cute and quirky is that title? CHEESE.
• The first episode opened last night with a shot of Jake doing push ups and jumping rope on a rooftop next to an infinity pool. It appears that he is in Dubai, but the show claims he is in LA.
• Chris Harrison - who I really do love - claims that this will be the most dramatic season of The Bachelor ever. I'm shocked, I really am. I wonder if the most dramatic rose ceremony in Bachelor history will take place this season as well...say, maybe every week?

Now onto the ladies.

• WHY do the producers insist that they all have these gimmicks when they meet The Bach? Every single girl had to say something so dumb. I especially enjoyed the below exchange:

"Close your eyes, picture your favorite place, where is it?" - Chic

"Right here, right now." - Jake

"Oh, mine is snowboarding." - Chic

How insightful.

• Where do the girls find these dresses? I really want to know, where would you even start looking for something like that? The one girl had boxes and boxes of them that her mother had been sending her.

• Just how many spokes models are there in the world?
• Thankfully the producers didn't cut out the best line in the whole show. When 29-year old Channy whispered something to Jake in Cambodian, I thought it would be another corny airplane line. Well, it was an airplane line, however, not corny. "You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime." Thank you, Channy. We will miss you.
• Who would I pick as my early favorites? Uhm, this is going to be tough since I kind of tuned out after that girl walked into the room in that Frederick's of Hollywood Flight Attendant costume. Anyway, at this point I will say Ali, Elizabeth from Nebraska, and Tenley. As for who is having an affair with someone in the Bach house who is not Jake? Gia or Rozlyn. Jake probably likes Rozlyn. I will give a more accurate assessment next week.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

♥

Mandi