Tuesday, January 26, 2010

This week's B-word Bachelor Bullet Points (and a Mandizzle Giveaway!)

Before I begin this heartwarming post, I want you all to enter the Mandizzle Giveaway on my gal Lizzie's blog - http://www.itsunbeweavable.com/. She is having a week long giveaway extravaganza and you can win something from my shop and some other gorg items as well.

On with my Bitchy Bachelor Bullet Points:
  • Dear Jake. Give.it.the.f.up with the motorcycle. That's probably not even you riding it! You're telling me you rode that thing all the way down the California coast? Sure you did, you are scared of heights and you are clearly too high above the ocean to feel comfortable on that ride.
  • This episode revolved around the girls taking buses (a la Rock of Love) down the California Coast to different outdoor locations that fit "the real Jake." As if I wouldn't have already bolted, I would have refused to take this trip. I hate road trips, I hate buses. No.

Gia's Date:
  • The first stop on the road trip is a pretty vineyard where Jake declares that he can't think of a better place to fall in love. Hmm...yep, I can. Anywhere inside probably. I bet mosquitoes are pretty bad at night there, and I can't deal with mosquites.
  • No to the Hide and Seek scene.
  • Gia and Jake play a super-fun game of Spin the Bottle and Surprise! The bottle lands on Gia! Shocking! Right before they start to kiss, Gia says "This is our first kiss." WHO DOES THAT? I shouted that out loud, don't worry.
  • In all fairness, Gia is really pretty and seems like she is nice. I like her. Oh, and when she declared her plans for the future, she said she wanted kids (including an adopted Chinese baby girl) and a pig. She had me at pig.
  • When Gia declared that she hadn't felt like this in "a year and a half" (which obviously isn't a long period of time), I was so relieved. Finally, a girl not gushing about how this is the most in love she's ever been in her entire life!
  • ...and the date closes with a moving instrumental rendition of what else but...On the Wings of Loveeeee!

The Group Date:

  • This date actually looked really fun. I would have fun dune buggying and sand surfing.

  • I don't have much to say about this date except I'm pretty much obsessed with that pink wall in the room Tenley was in. Oh, and how could I forget Ashleigh saying she doesn't want to come across as desperate, yet she is basically trying to dry hump little Jakey during their one-on-one time. I could see her butt cheeks. About that.

  • Tenley gets the rose. Good - she is cute and sweet.
  • End scene...this time with a jazzy remix of OTWOL. They are writing Joel McHale's material for him.

2-on-1 Date (Ella and Kathryn):

  • Before I get into this, let me say how much I appreciate the dramatic direction the producers give these girls. "Hey Ella, go deeply reflect alone on the beach...but hey, we are going to shine this bright-ass light on you and film the whole thing. Make sure you think about what you are going to say in your voiceover while you're reflecting on how you might go home tomorrow."
  • This date was boring. SO obvious that he was going to send them both home. He had zero chemistry with either of them and was outright bored the whole time. Oh yeah, and they showed him burning the rose in that plaid shirt with the elbow patches (what are those for, anyway?). He is terrible at acting like he likes these girls...which is refreshing because douchey Brad Womack was just in love with all of them (and picked none of them.)
  • The actual rose burning scene was truly amazing. I was laughing like I was watching Superbad or something. The acting they are making Jake do is so hilarious.

A few notes on Ali:

  • I think I'm off of Team Ali. I get it that she doesn't like Tisdale and Tisdale sucks or whatever, but why does she feel like it is her duty to be so mean about it?
  • When Ali mentioned that if she went on the 2-on-1 date, and she had to take one for the team, she would...because she was sure she'd come back with the rose.
  • She is just so all-knowing and I'm over it.

The Rose Ceremony:

  • The rogue footage of Jake looking for Chris Harrison was awesome. I wish they would do a special episode of completely rogue footage.
  • Not surprised at all about who went home.
  • Again, annoyed with Ali being such a B at the end. Hopefully, just the way they are making her look.

Alright...sorry to go on and on, but this episode was just toooo good.



sharonlei said...

What a sweet little giveaway you and Liz are doing :) Your items are amazing! They're all so beautiful.. I especially love the Frosted Shimmer Ring (Pink on Gold).. and also the CLOUD headband in Ivory!! how dreamy. :)

Love & Aloha,


Mi Vida Bonita said...

I am so glad that someone is recapping this!!! I can't just talk to my BF about it. Last nights episode was so GOOD! You touched all the major points. lol. The shot of the rose burning in the fire was so intense...Hahah.

Oh and she had me at pig too! ;)

I entered in your giveaway, Love it! Also now a follower!

meredith said...

i love recaps like this!! i don't feel so bad for forgetting to dvr the first hour now! :)

p.s. - love your blog and your giveaway on liz's blog! now i'm following you!

misss_e said...

I hate The bach. But...I started watching for some reason and Im hooked. Im hooked not because I like it...just because of how much I despise it and how dumb these chicks are.

The girls snitching really irks the life out of me. You are trying to show this guy you like him and are right for him...why are you telling him about another dummy who is not right for him! All they are doing is making her look more intriguing!

Dumb sluts!

Ashley's buttocks was not what I was trying to see on my Monday night! She looked so desperate!

Ella was my girl. But why was she on this show? Like go on eharmony.com already!

This show is clearly meant to be comedy because I was literally laughing out loud the whole episode and asking myself why anyone would go on this show.

Did you see the raccoons at the end? Priceless.

Cuddleslut said...

Ooooh man. I'm crossing my fingers for the giveaway. If I don't win, I spotted some items in the shop that I might have to break my self-imposed Etsy ban to snag.

I haven't been watching this season of The Bachelor.... I haven't been watching much tv at all lately. I am dissapointed in myself. I think I'm missing some good stuff. Damn it.

Mandizzle said...

Hahaha you girls are too funny! Thanks for your sweet comments!

Little Miss Paige said...

EEee! (Girl scream) I love the Bachelor. Did you watch him on Ellen? I don't think he chose anybody?

Love yer blog. & your hair pieces!


xoxoKrysten said...

I was totally into Team Ali but she's driving me nuts now. Fine, we get it, you don't like her. Shut up about it. It's so obvious that anyone that badmouths her gets kicked off. So if you want to stay zip those lips.

I'm totally team Tenley. She seems like a sweet girl, one of the less crazy ones - which is good.

Can't wait for tonight!

jady said...

i cant believe i actually read this...i hate you