- Dear Jake. Give.it.the.f.up with the motorcycle. That's probably not even you riding it! You're telling me you rode that thing all the way down the California coast? Sure you did, you are scared of heights and you are clearly too high above the ocean to feel comfortable on that ride.
- This episode revolved around the girls taking buses (a la Rock of Love) down the California Coast to different outdoor locations that fit "the real Jake." As if I wouldn't have already bolted, I would have refused to take this trip. I hate road trips, I hate buses. No.
- The first stop on the road trip is a pretty vineyard where Jake declares that he can't think of a better place to fall in love. Hmm...yep, I can. Anywhere inside probably. I bet mosquitoes are pretty bad at night there, and I can't deal with mosquites.
- No to the Hide and Seek scene.
- Gia and Jake play a super-fun game of Spin the Bottle and Surprise! The bottle lands on Gia! Shocking! Right before they start to kiss, Gia says "This is our first kiss." WHO DOES THAT? I shouted that out loud, don't worry.
- In all fairness, Gia is really pretty and seems like she is nice. I like her. Oh, and when she declared her plans for the future, she said she wanted kids (including an adopted Chinese baby girl) and a pig. She had me at pig.
- When Gia declared that she hadn't felt like this in "a year and a half" (which obviously isn't a long period of time), I was so relieved. Finally, a girl not gushing about how this is the most in love she's ever been in her entire life!
- ...and the date closes with a moving instrumental rendition of what else but...On the Wings of Loveeeee!
The Group Date:
- This date actually looked really fun. I would have fun dune buggying and sand surfing.
- I don't have much to say about this date except I'm pretty much obsessed with that pink wall in the room Tenley was in. Oh, and how could I forget Ashleigh saying she doesn't want to come across as desperate, yet she is basically trying to dry hump little Jakey during their one-on-one time. I could see her butt cheeks. About that.
- Tenley gets the rose. Good - she is cute and sweet.
- End scene...this time with a jazzy remix of OTWOL. They are writing Joel McHale's material for him.
2-on-1 Date (Ella and Kathryn):
- Before I get into this, let me say how much I appreciate the dramatic direction the producers give these girls. "Hey Ella, go deeply reflect alone on the beach...but hey, we are going to shine this bright-ass light on you and film the whole thing. Make sure you think about what you are going to say in your voiceover while you're reflecting on how you might go home tomorrow."
- This date was boring. SO obvious that he was going to send them both home. He had zero chemistry with either of them and was outright bored the whole time. Oh yeah, and they showed him burning the rose in that plaid shirt with the elbow patches (what are those for, anyway?). He is terrible at acting like he likes these girls...which is refreshing because douchey Brad Womack was just in love with all of them (and picked none of them.)
- The actual rose burning scene was truly amazing. I was laughing like I was watching Superbad or something. The acting they are making Jake do is so hilarious.
A few notes on Ali:
- I think I'm off of Team Ali. I get it that she doesn't like Tisdale and Tisdale sucks or whatever, but why does she feel like it is her duty to be so mean about it?
- When Ali mentioned that if she went on the 2-on-1 date, and she had to take one for the team, she would...because she was sure she'd come back with the rose.
- She is just so all-knowing and I'm over it.
The Rose Ceremony:
- The rogue footage of Jake looking for Chris Harrison was awesome. I wish they would do a special episode of completely rogue footage.
- Not surprised at all about who went home.
- Again, annoyed with Ali being such a B at the end. Hopefully, just the way they are making her look.
Alright...sorry to go on and on, but this episode was just toooo good.