Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Pilots are apparently afraid of heights.

This is going to be short because I have been in bed all day (sore throat, achey, bleh) which affects my ability to think straight about issues as complex as The Bach.

Starting with Ashley Tisdale (Vienna)'s 1-on-1 date:
  • Producers, please stop making these girls spend hours on their hair and then put them on the back of that bike forcing them to have helmet hair. Let's be honest, they ride about 15 feet down the road and hop into a limo or SUV which will ultimately take them to wherever they are going.

  • A. Tisdale declares that she is in love with Jake before their date even begins. Right.

  • The date starts out as a fun helicopter ride, but takes a bad turn. The copter lands near a super-high bridge which overlooks a stream full of rocks. Tisdale learns she will be bungee jumping from this bridge. F YOU, later. Seriously, no way.

  • Jake soon admits "I'm terrified of heights." You're a pilot. He wasn't lying, though. I thought he was going to have a heart attack or start crying before they jumped (both of which I would have done.)

  • ...but the jump happens, and is topped off with a Spiderman-esque upside down kiss. Jake mentioned that he'd never had a first kiss like this before. I'd surely hope not.

  • After the date, Tisdale declares that she's on Cloud Jake. Lame. Even lamer: "Jake's my Prince Charming. He's it. He's the real thing. " LAMEST: "This has been the best time of my life so far. The best day of my life will be when I marry Jake."

  • These chics really hate Vienna. They aren't showing why she is so deserving of the hatred, though.

  • Ali is really starting to bug me with her know-it-all, but I'm so sweet, 'tude. She also felt betrayed that Jake was going on another solo date with Vienna. Guess she thought the show was over.

Michelle will now get her own set of bullet points:

  • "I see myself as very attractive." - Michelle (We see you as psycho. Hopefully, the producers are just making you look that way).

  • "Our first kiss will be different. Soft, passionate, crazy, rippin' the clothes off." - Michelle

  • Did you catch the coconuts joke? About them being on her waiting for Jake? WTF.

  • "I'm not over dramatic or emotional. I really, really want a husband." Yep, we got that...and you're only 25.

  • After forcing herself onto Jake, she is upset that he didn't kiss her enough. Eventually she leaves before the rose ceremony and is quite upset because "everybody felt, certain people felt I was the girl." Sure they did.

  • With Michelle's departure...there goes the entertainment...but, I'll still watch.

The rest of the comedy date:

  • Stupid and boring.
  • Girls being catty.
  • More of Ali being a sweet know-it-all.
  • Tenley is really pretty.

Ella's date:

  • Not much to say outside of the fact that she wants she and Jake to be the next Trista and Ryan.
  • Don't think I need to even comment any further on this. Or anything else for that matter.


1 comment:

Ms. P said...

I am SO UPSET that Michelle left. SHe was beyond hilarious. DIE. I love your recap. xo