Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Let's kiss in the ocean, shall we?

Bachies...this week was all about the infamous "run and jump" and gratuitous makeout sessions in the ocean on the tropical island date...this one happened in St. Lucia. Also, poorly staged shots of a heartbroken Ali sitting on some random rooftop in her Chuck T's (nothin' wrong with those.)

On to the one-night-stands (maybe it's wrong for me to assume that, but yeah.)


  • How many times can he say he doesn’t like her for how she looks...but never stops telling her she is drop dead gorgeous, sexy, etc. 1,000 times? "When you stepped out of the limo, I thought you looked great, you looked amazing."

  • Take the "Hey, I went on a beach vacay" necklace off. It’s really nice that you bought it from that guy, but you can take it off now.

  • Bathtub scene - "I’m kissing this wildly gorgeous girl … that has everything in the world going for her." Again with the who "looks that he doesn't care about since he likes everything else about her more" bit.

  • My life with her starts flashing before my eyes. Or the next 4 minutes when things get too hot for tv.


  • Not really fair to place the almost virgin after Gia. Tenley is so pretty.

  • "Can you believe we’re here?" That’s his opening line with both girls so far.

  • Most annoying point of the show...he shows Tenley his passion…flying...while someone else flies the helicopter Oh, that’s right. He’s a flight instructor.

  • When Tenley asks Jake about how he will court her in the real world ("Will we have picnics, will we go to exotic places?") Jake answers with a "Yes, that's the great thing about the airline. One night we can say 'Let’s go to Cannes tomorrow morning.'" Yeah. Right. Go in the water and makeout or something.


  • Did Jake seem drunk to anyone else?

  • The date ends with Tenley accepting to stay with Jakers in the Fantasy Suite. I do believe that Tenley was a good girl.


  • Jump and run. Gross.

  • "Ive never been in love before," says Tisdale...but...you've been married?

  • Nothing of note to talk about at the pirate ship portion of the date, but there was a fun, playful version of OTWOL playing. That's notable.

  • The microphones amplify the disgusting sounds of the kissing.

  • Kissing in the ocean...shocking.

  • Fantasy Suite...Here comes the lingerie. This turned in to Rock of Love real quick. Tisdale is too young to have seen season 1 when Trista did it with the dude on the overnight date and he picked the other chic.


  • Jake tells her she can't come back.

  • She's probably going to be the next Bach.

The finale:

Jakers dumps Gia and we find out that "The Women Tell All" special will be airing next week. LOVE IT. They have been pretty good the last few times...or maybe that was "After the Final Rose." Anyway, I love when they catch up with the ex stars of the show, and I love even more that they are making a whole series about it.

Don't forget to watch Johnny Weir skate. Just for his antics, and he lost the fur.



Stacy said...

I was watching with a friend of mine and by the third time he walked into the fantasy suite and pretended like he had never seen a bed covered in rose petals before, we were gagging. Plus, the stupid "oh we can use this key to get to know each other better" line, we filled it in with "let's go to the fantasy suite so you can get to know my vagina better." Haha. What a great show to make fun of. And can Tenley please stop inhaling helium!!!!? She sounds like a cartoon character.

Mi Vida Bonita said...

If he chooses Tisdale....barf. Seriously! Apparantly her first marriage was a total sham...and I read in US Weekly she stole money from her exhusband to purchase her breast implants as well as cheated on him while he was in Iraq w/ his buddy. If that doesn't say trash I dont know what does.

Tenley is a cheesball...she is just NICE. They seem like they would be happy together considering they share the same VALUES, as he has stated a thousand times.

misss_e said...

Oh my Gosh. This recap is the highlight of the whole Bachelor Event!

I knew that Gia was going home. She isn't nearly young and dumb enough. And she didnt say how she loved him a thousand times like the other tricks. She also didnt fake act like she was going to cry and pass out from being so in love.

Tenley...lets call her RinTenTen. I was almost blinded when the camera panned over to her at the top of the steps. She was glistening. I mean I love glitter and sequins and bling but the headband was overkill. I couldnt even focus on the date...because I kept getting distracted by that demn knockoff tiara.

And lastly...Vienna. Where do I start with this date. That lingerie she had on was lame! I was thinking...THAT is what she went to put on! It was so boring. It was like a mayonaise sandwich...bland! She lost all her flavor (which is why he likes her in the first place). Why you may ask! Because seh doesnt eally have any with her fake self!!! Ahhh ::screaming::

Where do they find these girls! Its great television I tell ya!

I agree that dude acting like he had not been in that room before was over kill. This was a classic. I can't wait until next week! Your recap not the episode. LOL

Little Miss Paige said...

I hope that Roz comes back for next week. It's totally embarrassing that she used to be my favorite one (whoops).

The big talk at work today was whether or not all three got the big daddy. I think that Tenley "gave in." But others don't believe it so much.

Little Miss Paige

Ashley Stone said...

I think Jake is a major dork. He's cute, but I would never like him, he's so awkward!